What I know so far...

6 Things I have learned now that I am older.

Sep 28, 2023

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I am 40 *shmah*shmah* years into life.

Just kidding! I am totally comfortable with my age. I am 48 years old. I am actually proud of making it here. I have some things I want to share with you about how it has been so far. I am more comfortable with who I am today, in all respects. I can even laugh at things that are happening to me as I age. I seem to have this sense of wonder about all the changes. No one really tells you about nitty-gritty details, as if it were some kind of cosmic secret that only the ones who are privileged enough to grow old get to experience. Now don’t get me wrong, I know I am not using a walker just yet, but get that I am in the second half of my journey and I am actually excited about it. My life experiences have taught me that you should never take anything for granted. I am forever grateful to be on this beautiful earth and absorb every bit of life I can. I have learned a few things since I got here, so I thought I would share my experiences with you, dear reader. Here are the things I know so far, some that I am able to laugh about and some that are deeply profound:

1. I have become a chia pet (remember those?)

I have lost hair from places that should be lush and gorgeous and started sprouting it in places I didn’t know were possible. If this is a cosmic joke, I am not laughing. What is the story with this? Do we suddenly need to keep these areas warmer as we get older? I highly doubt my chin is cold! Either way, I am not about to let these suckers win, so I pluck each random atrocity as they wave hello to me. It’s like no one talks about this one. Just pretend it isn’t happening and maybe it will go away, right?
Seriously though, who decided that we can’t just walk around being beastly all the time anyway?

2. Done with drinking bitter tea.

Making sure everyone else is happy is no longer my problem. The people pleaser in me has died. Or at least is very very sickly and on its deathbed. I have realized that no matter how much I do to make someone else happy, they either won’t be, or they will find some new thing to gripe about and I will forever be juggling the balls in the air. If someone thinks I am not doing enough to please them, oftentimes it is because they are choosing to be unhappy in their life. I have come to the conclusion that boundaries are where my mental health lives. I am now prioritizing me. My job is to become a happier, actually no, a more content version of myself. Understanding that taking care of myself was not a selfish act but a necessary one, was a huge lesson. Contentment is a profound feeling that I now covet. Above all, getting older has taught me that life is too short to live solely for others' approval. I realize that I need to live for myself, pursuing my own dreams and aspirations without apology.

3. Going South has a whole new meaning.

Things have started moving….downwards. Even my nose has a sharper downward turn than before. Did anyone tell you that your nose also grows larger as you age? No one told me!! You’re freaking welcome. Oh, and now I just roll my girls up and tuck them into my bra, push-up? nah roll-ups are the new bra. Stuffing my bra with socks has become literal. Nothing is sacred anymore, not your boobs, your butt, your arms… nothing.

4. I will never be perfect.

I accept that I am not perfect, and it is about damn time I stop striving to be. The pursuit of perfection has been exhausting and I am ready to get off that crazy train. Embracing my flaws and imperfections has become a source of strength, it allows me to connect with others on a more authentic level. I am an empathic, nerdy and emotional person. There are people out there who can relate. This blogging journey that I am now on is a result of this recent realization. I made the decision to be who I am authentically and put my vulnerabilities out into the abyss. Who knows, maybe one of you needs to hear it. Maybe it can help someone be a more authentic version of themselves too.

5. I feel superior.

I don’t mean that in an ‘I am better than everyone else’ way but I realize that I am smarter today than I was a few years ago (one would hope, right?). I have an advantage over some of the people around me. That is a new feeling for me. In the past, I have always felt like the amateur in the room. Like I was just pretending to be an adult. My life experiences are unique to me and they have brought me insight into how to move through the world. I am not sure that is something that I can teach anyone else but I am grateful for the realization. It has given me a new confidence that I didn’t have before. Just a word of advice though, if you are always ‘smarter’ than everyone else in the room, you might be a pain in the a$$ Know-it-all, just sayin’.

6. Deep connections are the stuff of gold.

As I've grown older, my appreciation for truly meaningful human connections has also grown. Spending quality time with the people I love, nurturing real friendships, and being present in each of these moments has enriched my life in more ways than I can count. I no longer feel the need to have material things the way I used to. I mean I am not gonna lie, I still like pretty things. I am not out here saying I have become some kind of spiritual teacher who shuns the material world. But now, it has become more about the experiences I can enjoy with my orbit of loved ones. The real bonds we have formed are among my most precious treasures.

My life, like others’ lives, has been filled with big challenges. But I also see those challenges as gifts from God. They have all brought me to where I stand today. They have profoundly impacted my perspective on life. They've helped me navigate the complexities of aging with grace and a sense of purpose. I look forward to continuing to learn and grow as I embrace the years ahead. Each day we are gifted is a chance to be better than we were the day before. Even if we (read: me) end up looking like beastly little trolls in the process! Till next time friends.